PROFESSION DECKS (2-PACK) Save on Shipping – (Flat Rate $10.40)

Description

(Hero Deck)

Well now, you thinkin ’bout bein’ a Hero huh? Fighting the good fight and saving the day is all well and good and all but, just so you know, being a HERO is hard work! You have to take whatever the bad guys throw at you and still be able to stand strong, defend the helpless masses and take the bad guy down. You have to be on your best behavior %100 of the time and every decision you make most likely will be life and death.
The demand is high, the stress is high, the bad guys are probably high and it will be up to you to rectify the situation and if ANYTHING goes wrong, you guessed it, it’s gonna be your fault.

I say this not to dissuade you but to inform you. This aint a job for the lilly-livered or weak-willed. If “Klepto King” is going on a bank robbing spree you gotta get people’s money back. If Romper Stomper Rex is stoppin’ on cars on Saginaw and Court St. you gotta go handle that. If Diabolical Dave put Poop in the city water supply and now folks are spewin’ from both ends, guess who’s gotta not only bring Diabolical Dave to justice, but help clean up the mess? Go on, think it over…that’s right, YOU!

So why would anyone take this job you ask? Well, ask a Policeman or a Firefighter or a Doctor or Nurse and they will probably tell you the same thing…”This may be the only job worth doing. After all, what job could be more important than saving someone’s life? Or protecting people from harm?” That is what a hero does and they are all heroes but you, you are a SUPERHERO! No other person on Earth is revered as much as a superhero (well, maybe somebody’s momma). Every decent human being would bend over backward to help you out (including the aforementioned Doctors, Nurses and Policemen) and your deeds have garnered the respect, admiration and gratitude of all of humanity. Besides’ someone’s gotta put away all those crazy ex-girlfr…uh, I mean Villains.

So what do you say? Can we count you among the brave, the courageous, the righteous and the shields of humanity? Can we call you…HERO?

(Villain Deck)

What the hell…another one? Man, if they don’t quit sending me these noobs…Ahhg…I’m too sober for this…AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHRG! Ok noob, I’m gonna give it to you fast and dirty so listen up! Don’t tell me who you are ’cause I don’t care. I go by Drippin’ Jimmy. Somethin’ funny kid? Yeah, I got water powers, why did you think they call me that? Anyway, you musta pulled some kinda job that got you notice by us and somebody sent you to me to get sorted out.

So, first things first, we’re the bad guys, you know, the evildoers…the Villains. That’s what society calls us anyway but really, we’re just people who do what we want. I mean, think about it…why should I obey a law made up by Senator Whogivesacrap? How does it benefit me? What if it conflicts with what I think is best for my life? So we say, “Screw That!” We don’t obey nobody’s laws but our own (if we even have any). See, society wants you to THINK you’re free, but really, they want to restrict you with their laws so they can control you, but over here, we don’t let anyone else tell us how to live our lives, what we cant do where we cant go…nah…we have complete freedom over here. REAL freedom.

Now, of course, that freedom comes at a cost. there are whole agencies set up just to stop you from livin’ yo best life. Government networks designed to stop you, contain you and even, get this, REHABILITATE you, so you can now become a functional cog in their machine. Oh, and don’t even get me started on the Heroes. You know, those guys hate us so much, they work for FREE! Anyway, that’s rule number one…do what you want. It’s a great rule but as you may imagine, it sometimes brings us into conflict with each other. For instance, what if I wanted to rob yo Momma but Wifebeater Will wanted to rob her too? According to rule number one I can’t stop him, cause I gotta let him do what he wants but at the same time that rule applies to me too so he can’t…what’s that look for? Oh, You don’t want nobody robbin’ Momma huh? Relax junior, if the biddy’s smart she wont get hurt, she’ll just have a few less dollars in that purse is all. And hey, you can just rob a bank or somethin’ and give it.. well some of it…probably a little piece of it to your mom! She’ll think your this loving caring son. See? Our system works but that brings me to rule number two…don’t step on another Villains toes.

I mean that metaphorically, although, you probably shouldn’t do it literally either (that’s a good way to make sure your not included in this years census). Villains are some of the most violent and ruthless people you will ever come across. If not for rule # 2, we would probably take each other out so make sure you are on your guard around them at all times. Never trust them, never cross them and never EVER work on a team with them because that would require you to trust them and what did we say about that? Riiiiiight. Oh, here’s a good example, you see that guy over there? Goes by the name Under(age) Taker, we call him The ‘Taker for short. NEVER let him anywhere near your kids if ya got ’em, guy’s got proclivities you know what I’m sayin?

Anyway, just keep to yourself, don’t get in anyone’s way and you’ll be just fine. By the way, Who’s Shinarra, she sounds hot. What do you mean how do I know her, she’s at the top of your contacts list. HA! You should see your face right now! C’mon, breakin in the newbies is boring so I stole your phone when you were lookin’ at The ‘Taker. Ha, ha…Ohh….look who just grew a pair. Maybe your cut out to be one of us after all. Alright noob, you want this phone? Show me your a Villain.
Come take it!